How to Ask Him Out Without Seeming Fast and Tacky!


Mature dating opens up a whole different scene where the women are more confident, but don’t want to take the wind out of men’s sails. It’s a delicate situation. You don’t want to appear too fast-- but you don’t want to waffle around either.

There is always a way to go about doing things whether it’s about asking a guy out or getting him to ask you out. These days, things are different with both men and women being on equal footing.  No one wants to appear  fast and tacky while asking, so be confident instead.

Confidence removes the feeling or impression of being desperate. It is no longer unusual for a woman to ask a guy out. What is unusual is asking a guy out in the most surprising and interesting way.


Where would you get your confidence? From establishing rapport. You like each other. You have fun when you talk. It’ll make things easier if you flirt with him a little before you ask him out. Now here are a few ideas for moving forward to a date!

Prepare Yourself

The first important step is preparing for the different scenarios that may happen. It’s natural to feel nervous – guys feel it too when they ask someone out. Preparing yourself will relieve you of the pain and guilt if he might say ‘no’.

Make him Comfortable

You need to make the guy comfortable in your presence. When you notice he’s comfortable, then you too will be and anything you say will come out naturally. You’ll sound natural and spontaneous with no hint of desperation. Crack a joke, or ask him about his day.

Find the Right Time

This is all about timing. Make sure he doesn’t have anything else going on for him such as business problems, family issues, or anything that may distract him from listening to you. It would be a good idea to find out what he’s up to so you’ll know when is the right moment to ask him.

Remove the Pressure

The first time need not be like a date. You can make it sound informal like asking him to help you choose a gift for your brother, father or uncle, and that you need his advice in choosing something good for a male. Men like to be relied on.

Plan Ahead

It is more relaxing to ask someone to go to an event with than planning a whole date entirely. For example, you can ask him to go to a film or a county fair you’ve both been looking forward to. Alternatively, he might ask you what your plans are and, being caught in the moment, you forget what they are. Remember to plan activities you can do and base some of them on his interests.

Do not Overdo Things


A little flirting is healthy, too much is not. Stick to small acts. You can ask him about a good bakery to get great cakes or biscuits if he likes them. You can also send him a funny e-card through email or post it on his Facebook wall.

Remove your own nerves by establishing a nice relationship first. Build it up. Remember to play it cool if he might respectfully say ‘no’ so he won’t ask you out to spare you the pain of rejection. Be confident--it’s ok to show a bit of nervousness too. Modesty-- and have fun!